Residents of New Harmony, if in the event of the rapture you find yourself left behind on the planet earth, get ready to feel excruciating pain and suffering for the next seven years during the tribulation until the last judgement.
Seven Years!!! Yikes, what is your daily life going to be like then? I mean, for one thing the armies of satan and god will be at each other’s throats constantly. There will also be a flood of sin laden city dwellers heading into town in search of safe haven. Both are excellent reasons to have some where safe and relaxing to go.
When that day comes, be sure to come by the _____. It will help you forget all about the horrific pain and suffering that awaits you beyond its walls by engulfing your body and spirit in natures most exquisite offerings including warm Wabash River Mud. In addition, if you can prove you are a resident of the town, you get to keep your life! Plus, you can come by as often as you want, for free! After all, it is you who will keep it running through all of these rapturous days when capitalism no longer exists.
And don’t forget we have all of the tools, equipment, and space to keep your fire arms fully loaded and functioning.